Antyeshti and Shraddha: Hindu Last Rites and Remembrance

If you are reading this because someone you love has died, please accept our heartfelt condolences. In the first hours, you do not need to know everything. Your family priest, elders, the local crematorium or temple, and the community will guide each step. Rituals differ greatly between families, and there is no single correct way.

The tradition holds that the rites are done out of love and duty for the one who has gone, and that what matters most is sincerity. Where circumstances, health or distance make a full ritual impossible, families have always adapted, and a simple rite performed with devotion is still complete.

Antyeshti literally means the last sacrifice. In Hindu understanding the body is made of the five elements, earth, water, fire, air and space, and in death it is returned to them, while the atman, the Self, is eternal and continues its journey. The Bhagavad Gita, often read in homes of mourning, expresses this with great tenderness.

Scholars note that rites for the dead are among the oldest in the Vedic tradition; Rigveda 10.18 includes funeral verses, and the details of the rite have always varied with region, social group, gender and the age of the person who has died.

The following describes the common pattern in many families; please follow your own family's custom.

Preparation: the rites are usually completed within a day. The body is laid on the ground, bathed and wrapped in a clean cloth, traditionally white for men and widows and red or colourful for a woman whose husband is living. A tilak is placed on the forehead, tulsi leaves or Ganga water are often placed in the mouth, and the big toes may be tied together. Family and friends gather to pay respects and recite the names of God.

Procession: the body is carried on a bier to the cremation ground, traditionally by close male relatives, while the mourners chant 'Ram naam satya hai' in North India or other divine names elsewhere.

Cremation: the chief mourner, often the eldest son but today very often a daughter, spouse or other relative, bathes and performs the rites. He or she walks around the pyre, sometimes with an earthen pot of water that is pierced and finally broken, offers sesame, rice or ghee, and lights the pyre (mukhagni). Many communities perform kapala kriya, a symbolic act at the skull, near the end of the cremation. Those who attend bathe on returning home.

Electric and gas crematoria are now widely used in cities, and the rites are adapted for them.

After cremation, the ashes and remaining bone fragments are gathered (asthi sanchayan), usually on the third or a later day, and later immersed in a sacred river or the sea, often the Ganga at Haridwar, Varanasi or Prayagraj, or at a place dear to the family.

The family observes a period of mourning and ritual impurity (sutak), commonly ten to thirteen days, during which they cook simply, avoid festivities and receive visitors. In many North Indian homes the Garuda Purana is read during these days. Daily offerings of pinda (balls of cooked rice or flour) and water are made in many traditions to nourish the departed on their journey.

On the tenth, eleventh, twelfth or thirteenth day, depending on the community, male relatives may have their heads shaved, rites of purification are done, and a meal is offered to Brahmins, relatives and the poor. In North India this concluding ceremony is often called Terahvi, the thirteenth-day rite. Many traditions also perform sapindikarana, by which the departed is ritually joined to the ancestors, and a monthly and then annual shraddha follows.

Not every Hindu is cremated. Infants and young children are traditionally buried, and many sampradayas bury their gurus, swamis and sadhus, sometimes seated in meditation, with a samadhi shrine later built over the place. Several communities, including some Lingayat and Dalit communities and some groups in South India, traditionally bury their dead. Abroad, families follow local law and use crematoria, while sending ashes home for immersion.

Shraddha, from the word shraddha (faith), is the rite by which descendants honour and nourish their pitris, the departed ancestors. It is performed on the anniversary (tithi) of a death every year, and above all during Pitru Paksha.

The usual form: the performer bathes, wears a ring of darbha (kusha) grass, and, with the sacred thread moved to the right shoulder, offers water mixed with black sesame (tarpana) and pindas of rice or barley flour with ghee and sesame, invoking three generations of ancestors. Food, often kheer, rice and dal, is offered and given to Brahmins, and portions are set aside for crows, cows and dogs; a crow accepting the food is traditionally taken as a sign that the ancestors are pleased. The family eats afterwards. Many also give to the needy or read the Gita or Bhagavata.

Gaya in Bihar, on the Falgu river, holds a special place: tradition says shraddha performed there brings great merit, and a Pitru Paksha fair draws pilgrims every year. Families also go to Varanasi, Haridwar and Prayagraj, where hereditary priests (pandas) keep genealogy registers going back generations.

Pitru Paksha is the sixteen-day dark fortnight that ends with Sarva Pitru (Mahalaya) Amavasya, in September or October. In the amanta calendar of South and West India it is the krishna paksha of Bhadrapada; in the purnimanta calendar of North India it is called the krishna paksha of Ashvin, but the days are the same. In Bengal, Mahalaya marks the end of Pitru Paksha and the beginning of Devi Paksha, heralding Durga Puja. A popular legend tells that Karna, who gave gold all his life but never food to his ancestors, was allowed back to earth for these days to offer it.

Special days within the fortnight:

Traditionally the eldest son, or another male relative of the paternal line, has been the chief performer of both Antyeshti and Shraddha, and the texts emphasise this duty. Where there is no son, the tradition allows others, such as a grandson, brother, nephew or daughter's son. Today, daughters, wives and other women increasingly light the pyre and perform shraddha for their parents and spouses, and many priests and families accept this as an act of love and duty.

Arya Samaj families perform Antyeshti as a Vedic havan-cremation following Swami Dayananda's Sanskar Vidhi. Customs in Kerala, Tamil Nadu, Bengal, Odisha, Maharashtra and Nepal each have their own forms; when in doubt, ask your family's priest or elders, and remember that compassion for the bereaved comes first.